The Money Talk: Our Awkward, Honest, and Super Necessary Wedding Budget Conversation
About this Series: The Summit & Ivy Wedding Journey
Planning a wedding in Toronto is a big deal—we get it. To bring our professional advice to life, we're inviting you to follow along with "Jessica's Journey."
In this special series, we'll be sharing the story of Jessica and Mark—a fictional Toronto couple who are a composite of the many amazing clients we've worked with. Their mission is to create a dream wedding for 100 guests on a $35,000 budget.
As we guide them through every decision, from the venue hunt to the final toast, we’ll be sharing our pro tips, planning tools, and honest advice that you can steal for your own wedding. Let's get them to the altar!
One month later - August 30
After the proposal, the single most important step is getting on the same page about finances. For Jessica and Mark, this conversation took place after their self-imposed "1-Month No-Planning Rule," allowing them to approach the topic feeling connected and refreshed, not rushed.
Let's see how they navigated this crucial milestone.
Our one-month "engagement bubble" was, in a word, perfect. We traveled for a weekend, celebrated with friends, and didn't open Pinterest even once. But as August came to a close, we knew it was time to get real. Armed with coffee, our laptops, and a healthy dose of anxiety, Mark and I sat down at our kitchen table for The Money Talk.
I’ll be honest, even after a month of waiting, it felt super awkward at first. We talk about money all the time for things like rent and groceries, but this felt different. This was bigger.
I opened my laptop to a Pinterest board filled with photos of a stunning downtown Toronto loft venue. "Look at this place!" I said. "Imagine the flowers we could have..."
Mark, ever the pragmatist, opened his online banking app. "I love it," he said gently. "But we also want to buy a condo here in the next few years. We need to figure out what's realistic."
And there it was. The heart of the issue. The dream versus the down payment.
For a moment, we just stared at each other. But instead of letting it become an argument, we took a step back and decided on a structured approach.
First, we talked about the vibe. Before a single dollar was discussed, we agreed on the feeling we wanted for our wedding. The words we kept coming back to were: "fun," "a great party," "good food and music," and "not stuffy."
Second, we listed our Top 3 Priorities. We each secretly wrote down the three things that were most important to us.
My list: 1. An amazing photographer. 2. Beautiful, memorable flowers. 3. A dress that makes me feel incredible.
Mark’s list: 1. An open bar with good drinks. 2. A live band that will keep everyone dancing. 3. Making sure our guests have an amazing meal.
Seeing our lists laid out was a game-changer. It showed us where our values aligned (guest experience!) and where we might need to compromise.
Finally, we looked at the numbers. We reviewed our current savings, figured out how much we could realistically set aside each month, and had the "will our parents help?" chat. We decided to build a budget based only on what we could afford ourselves. Any family contributions would be a wonderful bonus, not a necessity.
After all the math, we landed on our number: $35,000.
It felt like a fortune and not nearly enough, all at the same time. But it was our number. A realistic, achievable goal that we had decided on together. The awkwardness was gone, replaced by a feeling of being a team.
Summit & Ivy Planner's Note: Jessica and Mark nailed this conversation! We call this the "Vibe, Priorities, and Finances" framework, and we recommend it to all our clients. 1. Define Your Vibe: First, agree on the feeling of your day. Is it a casual party or a formal affair? This will guide all your aesthetic choices. 2. Set Your Priorities: Listing your top three non-negotiables helps you allocate your funds effectively. It tells you where to splurge and where you can save. 3. Face Your Finances: Build your budget based on your own savings and income. This empowers you and removes pressure or expectation from family contributions.
Now that we have our magic number, we have to tackle the single biggest factor that will affect the cost. The guest list. How many people can our $35,000 budget actually cover?
Next time, we’re diving into The Great Guest List Debate.
Have you had the budget talk yet? How did it go? Share your experience or any anxieties in the comments below! We'd love to hear from you.
Cheers,
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