The Guest List: How We Cut 50 People and Survived the Drama
About this Series: The Summit & Ivy Wedding Journey
Planning a wedding in Toronto is a big deal—we get it. To bring our professional advice to life, we're inviting you to follow along with "Jessica's Journey."
In this special series, we'll be sharing the story of Jessica and Mark—a fictional Toronto couple who are a composite of the many amazing clients we've worked with. Their mission is to create a dream wedding for 100 guests on a $35,000 budget.
As we guide them through every decision, from the venue hunt to the final toast, we’ll be sharing our pro tips, planning tools, and honest advice that you can steal for your own wedding. Let's get them to the altar!
From Jessica's Journal September 6, 2025
With our $35,000 budget set, Mark and I felt so accomplished. We were a team! We were ready! The next step seemed easy enough: figure out who to invite. "How hard can it be?" I actually said those words out loud. Famous last words.
We opened a spreadsheet, feeling confident. We listed our immediate families, our wedding party, and our closest friends. Easy. We were at about 70 people and feeling great.
Then, we made a crucial error: we asked our parents for their "small list of essential guests."
My mom’s list included all her siblings (and their kids), her two best friends from university, and our former neighbours. Mark’s dad sent over a list of his business partners. In less than 24 hours, our neat list of 70 had ballooned into a terrifying spreadsheet of 150 names.
My heart sank. A 150-person wedding was not the intimate party we had envisioned, and it certainly wasn't a $35,000 wedding. The panic started to creep back in. How could we possibly cut this list in half without causing a family war?
Mark, sensing my stress, closed the laptop. "Okay," he said. "We need a system. No more emotion, just logic."
And that's what we did. We created a set of rules—a "Guest List Flowchart"—to make the hard decisions for us.
First, we created our A-List. These are the non-negotiables. The people we absolutely could not imagine our day without. We were ruthless. This list came to 80 people. It felt small, but it also felt right. These were our people.
Then, we made our rules for everyone else. To decide who would make up the remaining 20 spots (and our "B-List" for later), we asked three questions about every single person:
Have we both had a meaningful, in-person conversation with them in the last year?
Are they a part of our current lives, or just our past?
Would we take them out for a $150 dinner? (Because that’s roughly what each guest costs!)
That last question was a reality check. Suddenly, cutting my mom’s old neighbour didn’t feel so bad. We tactfully explained to our parents that we were keeping the wedding intimate to match our vision (and our budget).
It took a full weekend of negotiating and sticking to our rules, but we did it. We have a solid guest list of 100 people that we are genuinely thrilled to celebrate with.
Summit & Ivy Planner's Note: The guest list is often the most emotionally charged part of planning. A system is your best friend! We always recommend the A-List/B-List strategy to our clients. The A-List: Your ride-or-dies. This list (including you!) should be about 80-85% of your target guest count. Send these invitations out first. The B-List: Your "would love to have them" list. Once you receive RSVPs from the A-List, you can send invitations to people on the B-list to fill any open spots. The key is to be discreet. Send the invitations in waves and no one will ever know the difference. This ensures you can celebrate with as many loved ones as your budget and venue will allow, guilt-free.
Now that we have our budget and our final guest count, we can finally start looking for a place to host all these wonderful people. It’s time to find a venue!
Next time, we’re diving into the wild and competitive world of booking a wedding venue.
What has been the most challenging part of creating your guest list? Share your stories and tips in the comments!
Cheers,
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